...to the Mothers in my life...

I'd like to start the blog tonight by saying "Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day." In case you didn't know, and I'm guessing that you didn't since I just found out yesterday, there is a day (the Saturday before Mother's Day) devoted to honoring the spouses of military members. So, next time you see my wife, the wife of my deployed brethren, or any other military spouse for that matter, give them a great big hug or at the very least, tell them thanks for the job they endure. Their job is truly the hardest in the military. In the absence of their spouse they are required to be mother and father, run a household by themselves, and take on the role of all things fix-it. Those ladies in Good Housekeeping don't hold a candle to the military wife!

Now, other than thanking my wife for being an awesome military spouse, my other reason for writing tonight is to thank the mothers in my life. In case you don't know, I, like many of you, have more than one mother in my life. There are four mothers that have made a significant impact on me or my overall outlook and well-being; my mother (or Mom), my mother-in-law, my step-mother-in-law, and of course, the mother of my children.

First off, the mothers-in-law in my life have made a huge impact that is felt in a very indirect way. These are the ladies responsible for shaping and molding my wife into the woman and mother that she is today. For those of you who might still believe that when you marry someone that you are marrying him/her and not their family...that's just crazy. Eventually you realize that you get the bad with all of the good, and trust me, behind every person is a family member they don't want you to meet. So, to both of my very normal mothers-in-law...thanks for giving me a chance, thanks for believing in us and not being too nosy, and thanks for the job you did raising my wife. Happy Mothers Day!

Next is the mother of my children, or my wife! Now I've never forgotten her birthday and I can assure you that I haven't and never will forget our anniversary, however it has taken me a while to realize that I had better do something special for her on mothers day since our children are still too small to do so. As you might imagine, that is quite difficult to do from such a distance. I've had people offer to pick something up for her, but I just didn't want to go through with that...it just seemed impersonal. At this late hour the best I could come up with (other than sending her a card a couple weeks back that still hasn’t arrived) is tell you what I think about her.

My mother always gave me the advice that I should never date someone that I wouldn't consider marrying. When I was young that didn't make a lot of sense because I wasn’t even considering marriage at the time, but I eventually realized that Mom was trying to tell me that I had better not date someone that I would be ashamed to bring home to meet the family. Now my mother always had the uncanny ability to size up a prospective girlfriend in less than .005 milliseconds...again, it is absolutely uncanny. Also, once a mother gets in her mind that some girl is "not the right one," you might as well move on because moms rarely change their mind on women who are good enough to marry their son or daughter.

When Loni and I met we went on a couple of dates and my mother approved from the very beginning! I should say that it took about half a date to realize that I was smitten and maybe three dates before I knew Loni was the girl I would marry. I had no problem telling her that either...I'm just glad she didn't freak out. Can you believe that...I actually remember telling her after just a few dates, "you know we're gonna get married, right" and her response was "yeah, I know"...some folks are just meant for one another. From the moment we met I could see her holding our children with that wonderful smile on her face. God has blessed us with two little angels and it still makes me smile when I come in from work to see her holding our son in her arms, he is completely at peace in the loving arms of his mother. To hear the excitement in my daughter’s voice when we get home from school and she screams “MOMMY” is a tribute to her as a mom. To the second best mom in the world, happy mothers day!

Finally, for my favorite mother, the one who has been there when others weren’t and has wiped more tears and bottoms than her fair share…where do I actually start with my own mother…how does someone tell others just how much their own mother means to them? Each year about this time my brother and I take our mother out to eat at a nice restaurant after church, this typically includes both of our families and sometimes we even talk Loni’s mom into going with us. Needless to say, with all of those children, it’s sometimes seems to be more about keeping sanity and less about our mom. We mean well, but mom could literally make plans now for the next five mother’s days. We are that predictable and always have been; when we were little we got her the same pair of shoes each year for probably six or seven years because we thought that was what she wanted. It wasn’t until a few years later that we found her stash of white Keds; there must have been five pair as white as the day they left the store. Each year she opened that same gift and managed to be so surprised that we had gotten her exactly what she wanted.

Why tell such a story…because this is quite typical of my mom. Mom would always make the biggest fuss over other people (my dad, my brother, me) at birthdays, church events, graduations, etc…and never once would she accept the same in return…always downplaying her role or passing on the praise elsewhere. My mother made sure I treated girls with respect and dignity, and if you were to ask Loni I think she would agree that mom did a fine job. Mom has always believed in me, she’s always been honest with me, and upon adolescence she has treated me like an adult.

I’ve never told my mother this, but one of my favorite things to do while home from college was to sit and talk with her. Dad and I can sit and talk, but my mother and I can sit and talk and talk and talk. We are both extraverts and love to talk so sometimes we would talk for hours with nothing to actually talk about. Whether she was consoling me over a girl situation gone wrong or something more serious, she’s always been there and made the time to try and “fix” whatever needed fixed.

It’s quite difficult being away from the mothers in my life for such an extended period, but I know now and always will be certain that they back me in my decisions and believe in me and love me unconditionally. So, to my mothers…happy mothers day. I love you all and long to see you all again soon.